why?

Because.

Because the people of Hans Island need your help!

Because if I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Dmitri Shostakovich!

I am a shy, nervous, unassuming, fidgety, and stuttery little person who began composing the same year I started music lessons of any sort. I wrote the first of my fifteen symphonies at age 18, and my second opera, "Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk," when I was only 26. Unfortunately, Stalin hated the opera, and put me on the Enemy Of The People List for life. I nevertheless kept composing the works I wanted to write in private; some of my vocal cycles and 15 string quartets mock the Soviet System in notes. And I somehow was NOT killed in the process! And Harry Potter(c) stole my glasses and broke them!

Who would you be? Dead Russian Composer Personality Test

Because if I were a country, I would be France!

Pretty as a picture, opulant and seksay! I'm always good for a night on the town, but not really good at handling money. I tried my whole hand at that dominatrix thing, but that didn't work out too well. Although sometimes I am striken with a little Napoleonic nostalgia, it's mostly me and my cafe au laits and fashion sense. But you'd think since I am the fashion capitol of the world, I'd make my men stop wearing those ugly tight pants. But a sloppy kiss is named after me and I am probably really good at oral sex. I can cook, too, so all is well. I am the queeeen of france!

Which would country you be? Take the Personality Test

Because if I were Eddie Izzard, I would be slut Izzard. I'll crawl into any duvet any time of the day. I get to shag everyone, and wear all their clothes. I'm concerned with appearances, whether anyone will shag me, or whether I'll shag anyone else. Rejoice!! for I am a fashion queen.


Which Izzard would you be?

And because if I were an affliction I'd be rickets

Because it's time to throw off the shackles of the white man

Because we are Canadian

Because it's all just too delightfully tacky to be true

Because I love quizzes

Because heresy+paper dolls=fun.

Because it is just so silly!

Because I can't help being a retro junkie!*

Because it's so sneaky

Because we had to save it before Salon died.

Because I love this kind of stuff. What can I say?

Because I can't resist what I don't understand

Because the world needs more Turkish karaoke

Because I love quizzes

Because they gave me a bunch of gift certificates for Roots, and you can get in on it too

Because the truth is out there

Because you've overheard stuff, but you never wrote it down

Because you may think you're normal, but...

Because it takes an ancient artform in a new direction.

Because we're taking over. in a nice, polite way.

Because you wish you could

Because society is going to heck in a handbasket, and needs help

Because it's just too sweet

Because I am the muse for my string of admirers

Because when we were kids, "Animals Without Backbones" was one of our favourite books. don't ask, just accept.

Because if you wanna play the game, you gotta know the rules.

Because everything is connected.

Because she cannot speak for herself, so others must speak for her.

Because there is a downside to amateur porn.

Because sometimes you forget the words.